Dear Madam

After not eating dinner last night nor breakfast this morning I made the mistake of drinking two cafe lattes on the way to work and then another cup of coffee after I got there.  By 10am I was visibly sweating and breaking out in goose-flesh, while my extremities had gotten so cold that when inadvertently brushed my hand against a coworker while passing her a book she called me “zombie hand.”  Not very creative, but telling nonetheless.  By 10:30am I had developed a watery and twitchy eye syndrome as well as a throat clearing tic and a mouth that perpetually filled with saliva.  As a naturally paranoid person, this was alarming because I knew that coworkers were beginning to wonder what was wrong with me.  For reasons that I cannot understand I was not able to just come out with the truth that I had basically overdosed on caffeine.  I felt like I had a dirty drugged out secret in my pocket that my overstimulated mind was unable to share.  Everyone started to assume I had the flu and I was politely ushered out the door and into my car.  I did not hallucinate from caffeine overdose, but then again I swear that I momentarily saw someone sitting on the hood of my car on the way home.

Have you ever chased the brown dragon?

Yours truly.


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